Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
