Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
