Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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