I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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