Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
