I got chris browned last night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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