To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I intend to get homeless drunk
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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