Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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