oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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