I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
