May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
