Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
