In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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