I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
