How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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