yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize