In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
