you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
