I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
