and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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