Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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