dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His nipple licking is glorious
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