We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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