so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
