So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
