i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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