I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
