you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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