im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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