Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
