the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ugly people sure do ruin things
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Watching her eat just hurts me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
