At least make sure they are 18
Why
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
