why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
