you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
