We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
