that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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