Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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