you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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