super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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