we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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