my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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