I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
