This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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