well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
