you have to choose: penises or morals?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
