I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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