Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
