Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
