yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
