just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
