is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
