her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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