I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize