You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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