Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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