Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
