Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
look no pants
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
