I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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