Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
