Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I won the penis lottery.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
