It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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