Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
