Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
