moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
