I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
