you win again, gameday.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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